Why get coaching?

One of the biggest reasons people seek coaching is for help in their relationships. Whether it’s a marriage where it’s becoming more difficult to connect…or a work situation where communication has shut down…or a family with old unhealed wounds that seem to get re-opened frequently, relationship stress can be very painful! Typically, we choose to avoid conflict, often by putting up walls,  communicating minimally, and distancing. Is this happening for you?

Most people lack skills in “emotional self-regulation” – the ability to take care of oneself emotionally. Without those skills, we will typically “act out” our feelings rather than express them to ourselves and others. Acting out can be as subtle as an angry expression on my face, or might take the form of coldly criticizing someone, or be as blatant as yelling an insult.

What is the alternative?

  • Taking some slow, calming, deep breaths while focusing on your feelings
  • Acknowledging to myself when I feel angry, upset, fearful, and exploring what need or needs of mine aren’t being met (this one step has been proven to lower stress levels significantly!)
  • Taking care of myself by meeting my need another way
  • Asking another person to just listen

In a coaching session, first you’ll receive deep listening and empathy for the painful situation you’re in. Next, you’ll learn and practice self-regulation skills. As you become accustomed to slowing your breathing, you will have the opportunity to receive intuitive guidance from your own heart. You will learn the skills of giving empathy to yourself, and to other people, even when you are in the midst of a disagreement, and without having to agree with them. You’ll have an opportunity to do role-plays in which you try on seeing the world through another’s perspective. The result: improved communication and greater ease in your relationships!

Would you like to explore further? Call or email me to book a time for your FREE one-hour consultation, in person or by phone. If you choose in-person, you are invited to have a cup of tea or coffee with me at my home office. 828-545-9681.

 

The Connection Practice at the Purpose Collective!

This series of classes will be held at The Purpose Collective, 101 Stone Ridge Blvd., N. Asheville.

Cathy Holt has taught nonviolent communication for over 15 years. She is a certified teacher and coach of the Connection Practice, and a certified HeartMath® coach.

1. The Connection Practice: Empathy & Insight for Healthier Relationships – Sunday, August 19, 3-6pm

  • Do you want more heart-based communication skills?
  • Would you like a way to self-regulate your emotions and behaviors to lower stress and increase resilience?
  • Want access to your intuitive intelligence?

This experiential, interactive class, firmly based in heart and brain science, helps deepen our connection with the hearts of others. Please pre-register by August 17.

2. The Heart of Empathy: Giving and Receiving Empathy through Feelings & Needs – Sunday, September 30, 3-6pm

  •  What empathy is…and isn’t
  •  Replacing judgments with the language of feelings & needs
  •  How empathy for self and others decreases everyone’s stress

3. Gratitude, the Heart, and Heart Insights – October 14, 3-6pm

  • How gratitude makes us happy
  • Heart breathing and Quick Coherence
  • How heart insights can improve communication and relationships

Pre-registration via Eventbrite, please see https://www.facebook.com/pg/heartspeakpeace/events/ or by emailing cathyfholt@gmail.com. Suggested donation: $20-45 per class. Paying the higher amount enables scholarships to those in need. For those with some background in nonviolent communication, each class can stand alone.

The Connection Practice at Unity of the Blue Ridge 

2041 Old Fanning Bridge Rd., Mills River, NC

Date: Sunday, Oct. 28

Time: 1:30-4:30 pm

Donation: Love Offering

Want help with difficult communications? Hoping to heal a troubled relationship? This highly experiential 3-hour class will give you the tools you need!

“Very heart-centered, practical, supportive…an empathetic and safe space to dive deep and open the heart!”                         – Rev. Christy Corna

“I experienced support in the challenging process of replacing old patterns with new skills, and the gift of insight.”               –  Michelle Smith

“…valuable insights from my own heart, that changed my relationship to myself and my family. Powerful and transformative life-changing experience!” – Kathy Austin

Please pre-register by Oct. 20 by emailing: cathyfholt@gmail.com

 

Brooke Medicine Eagle: The Power of the Deep Feminine

Brooke Medicine Eagle, a ceremonialist, Earthkeeper, author, healer and visionary, spoke eloquently as part of the “Shamanism Summit” on the Shift Network. I love how she inspires us to practice accessing the resource of our loving heart, to share love and connect.

According to Brooke, the time of the feminine is here now. Patriarchal cultures feared the female power to give birth, the power of creation. Women have been suppressed and disempowered for so many years, and their anger at the abuse is coming forward in the “Me Too” movement. Many women are angry today, Brooke acknowledges, yet the time has come not to “conquer” the oppressive regimes (the old way), but to create something new.

The dark womb is the first power, holding us all in love; all potential is within that darkness, yet invisible. Honor and respect for the feminine, Brooke believes, is the beginning of all power. What wants to be born now? At this time, all the negativity is being pushed to the surface, revealed, in order to be acknowledged and cleaned and cleared. We are in the clearing phase now, so that kindness and unity consciousness and connection can arise, finally. Love is the magic. Unity and loving connection with all beings is the essence of shamanism, Brooke believes. Suffering is caused by our belief in separation. Creator pours love into us at all times.

“Close your eyes and go back to a time of feeling HUGE love,” Brooke instructs. Whether it was holding an infant in your arms, or seeing a dear one running toward you with arms open wide, or looking into the eyes of a beloved person or animal and feeling your heart open. Find it in your body, how does your body know you are feeling the love? Is it in your chest, are you smiling, are there tears? This loving feeling is a POSITIVE RESOURCE. Find it in your body, and call that feeling in. That’s embodiment, not just being in our head. When we’re in our heads, we’re not grounded or embodied, not using the great gift of the heart. Enjoy the practice of calling up the love, and sending it out to people, animals, flowers, any life form.

Intention, commitment, practice, taking 100% responsibility for creating the feeling we want, gives us true power. Abraham (Hicks) advised: “Be angry for 16 seconds, yell and shake it off, then let it go, and choose another feeling.” The spiritual warrior chooses what to feel and create. Brooke adds, “When we pour our love out to everything and everyone around us, it’s the best feeling in the world!”

Malidoma Some says that in a Dagara village it is believed that our “job” is to call forth the best in everyone else.

Trees, in drought, bring water to the surface for smaller plants. They are role models for us.

The shaman is not only the bridge between the animal, plant and human worlds, but also the bridge between the physical and spirit worlds. “Power is stepping into the great stream of connection. When we step into love and unity, there is great power, which can wash away the oily scum on everything, revealing the rich beauty of love and caring,” Brooke affirms.

Let’s remind one another that we are birthed in love, held in love, infused with love. When we send love to a flower, the flower’s life force is enhanced. As we overflow love, more comes to us!